RC Okay, here's Paul King's 'One Too Many Heartaches', Baz. This is its last journey ever. You could have simply thrown it into the bin, but it wouldn't have been as effective as giving it to me, because I know how to destroy your heartache and make you happy again. Say goodbye, Club Bed.
Club Bed: Bye!
RC Whahey! They're saying goodbye to Paul King! He sort of said goodbye to his singing career as well, didn't he? AndyCam, you know Pathetic Pat's been really crap recently.…
RC I wonder how we can destroy this, have you got any ideas?
RC We need...…
Craig? Why don't we chuck it off a bus?
RC I don't know, we've done that one. We sort of need someone who could do it with real feeling, don't we? Someone who knows something about music.
Craig? Behind you.
RC Who's that relaxing casually on the front of a car? Is it Paul King? It is Paul King!
PK Mr. C!
RC It's Top Paul King! Hello, top Paul King.
RC Nice to see you still have got some fans out there, Paul.
PK Well, I bring them along with me.
RC How are you?
PK I'm very fine, thank you.
RC How is VH1 treating you?
PK Superdooper trooper
RC I'd say, just as I got modern, you shave yours off.
PK I know. Well, I can't compete I'm afraid.
RC Look, Paul, all those days in pop videos have paid you well. Look how he's relaxing on a car!
RC I´ve never seen someone look so relaxed on a car before. Do you remember this?
Craig Look, sandals!
RC Yes, thanks Craig! We're doing an item here on Clean Our Souls, if you don't mind.
Craig I thought it was a fashion item.
RC Do you remember this with fond memories, Paul?
PK No, I don't actually. That's why I'm here, Ray. It's not particularly a happy recording for me.
RC Isn't it? What happened? It's called 'Joy' though.
PK Yeah I know. I was trying to be positive through a pretty negative period of my life, you know what I mean.
RC Barry from Hampshire, you know the story...
RC ...he played it all the time and his wife was on the couch with his best man to the tune of 'One Too May Heartaches'.
PK Very... Well, it's almost iro- ironic.
RC Almost ironic.
PK Almost ironic. If I can get it out.
RC Don't get it out, Paul. There's no need for that sort of thing. Now, Barry hates this tape...…
RC And so, funnily enough, does Paul.
PK So he does.
RC So how do you feel about a double destruction, to clean, cleanse your soul and Barry's at the same time?
PK There's some good karma involved here, Ray. I've got this feeling.
RC Good karma. And we've got a good car.
RC Right. Paul...
RC Are you qualified as a stunt driver?
PK I am sir.
RC Okay. Is this your car?
PK It's not my car.
RC 'Cause you drive a much more expensive car than this, Paul, don't you?
PK It is my car, but I pretend it's not my car.
RC Okay, fine. It's not his car at all, he drives a Ferrari. All right. Paul.
PK Where did you put the tape, Ray?
RC Any particular wheel you want?
Cameraman Here, Ray
RC Just here, apparently, Paul, for the cameras. Baz, say goodbye to your tape. I'm gonna put it over here actually, Andy...
RC ... so Paul's got a bit of a run-up. Here's the tape. There's Paul King. There's Paul King. He's gonna run himself over, whahey! Off you go, Paul! Now, that's what I call great stuff. Is he gonna get it first time round. This is a very dangerous stunt. Yes! And go back over it, Paul! Yes! And I put it on that end now. No, it won't work. And again, Paul! Wow, yes! Oh yes! Oh, it feels good to me! Right. Don't worry about the tires. Okay, Paul. It's pretty destroyed. We'll have to... Good job, Paul.
RC Let's go and see if it still works there, because sometimes you've got a bit of a problem and they still work after you've run them over. So what we'll do is we put it in here to see if that fantastic song of yours is still playing. [THE SONG IS PLAYED] It is still playing! It's still on.
PK Oh my God.
RC We didn't destroy it.
PK What do we do?
RC Eh, what we need is a sledgehammer. OK! There's one there. Fantastic. Okay, Paul.
RC Look. I could do this, but I've done it a million times. Have you ever done it?
PK No, I didn't actually (???)
RC It makes you feel good.
PK Is it really good?
RC There's a real rush to it. Do you wanna do it?
PK Yes, sir.
RC Remember to wear safety glasses, if you're gonna do this at home kids. Be sure to wear safety glasses.
PK All right, Ray.
RC Out of the way, Craig.
RC There you go, Paul. A final destruction, Baz, of that song that you can't stand any more. And neither does Paul. So both of you are joining together. Good karma.
PK Yes, good karma. Do I just hit in there?
RC You just destroy it as much as you like.
PK The whole player?
RC Yeah, just smash it up. Mind your feet! [SMASH]
PK And again.
RC And again. Yes! [SMASH]